I've stopped random women with little girls and asked "what do you put in your daughter's hair?" Mind you, I started asking when Alex was only 2 months old..and I was asking women with girls between the ages of 2 and 16 hoping to get a little help. When you have a mixed child, you really don't know what you're doing. I thought I had it all figured out before she arrived and the answer was Vasoline and Water..I mean, what else could you possibly need? I knew what I was talking about, besides I was the black half, and black women know how to take care of alllll types and textures of hair (right?). For some reason, we (mother's of mixed race children) start trying all types of products on our little one's head WAYYY before we need to..all in hopes of getting it "under control" before it get's "out of control". When really, we are secretly praying it will stay straight or atleast silky, forever. Not the case. And I am speaking only from my own personal experience. Alex's hair has changed from being really straight, to super soft BIG curls, to spirals that are a little kinky in some places and silky everywhere else...all before the age of two.
So, I just want to share with you my journey of what I tried and what worked and what I'll never do again. During my journey, I would (and still) google "Mixed babies Hair", "Bi-racial Babies Hair", "Half white Half Black hair", hoping someone would have an answer. And some of the "advice" I read, floored me. So, before you go back to your search results to see what someone else had said, PLEASE take a moment and read this first. I swear, I'm not one of those crazy moms who puts mouse in an 18 month old's hair!
How Do I Take Care Of My Mixed/Bi-racial Babie's Hair?
- BRUSH THAT HAIR! The curls are super cute, I know. But you have to brush/comb their hair atleast twice a day. You'll get the natural oils from the scalp and it will help it become more managable AND your child will start to get used to you combing his/her hair and not scream everytime you are holding a comb or a brush.
- USE A LEAVE-IN SPRAY CONDITIONER. When you've got that comb and brush in hand, grab Johnson and Johnson's No More Tangles Leave in Conditioner SPRAY.
(You can find it at Target and sometimes Walmart in the baby isle, or of course order it online) Apply a light spray all over and alittle extra in places that are tangled. Get a medium toothed comb and section off the more tangled areas and comb from the ends first to the roots. It's may take a couple of tries to get your little one to sit still. Alex is almost two and thinks that when the comb and spray come out it's time to run around the house. And then give the entire head one really good brushing before you style it. Now, if you've already did the "morning brushing" and it's the afternoon for the "second brushing", just get a little water on your hands to dampen the hair and brush again. And if it's really bad, just spray the tangled areas and comb out. Here's the link to the product, just in case: http://johnsonsbaby.com/product.do?id=67 Also, Nexxus has a new leave-in conditioner that is the Hummectress product, but in a spray and that works wonders as well. - USE AN ANTI-FRIZZ SERUM. Now, most people (specifically black) will tell you to "put some oil in that baby's hair!". NOT always the case. What you need, is something to control the frizz or the little kinky spots. Well, after you've brushed/combed, conditioned the hair, with a daily conditioner, then brushed again..chances are you're looking at a child with slicked-down hair and you want those ringlets to show. This is where the serum comes in. Go down the normal hair care isle and look at anti-frizz products. John Freeda even makes a anti-frizz leave-in conditioner. Be careful not to get a "straighting product" and
I'm not talking black hair care, when you go shopping, you'll see what I'm talking about. Here's what I use, Special FX Curls Up Curl Reactivator & Defrizzant. It's a non-chemical product and smells great. Squeeze a nickel size amount of this in your hands, and rub it together and "slick it down" the top of your little one's hair and then rub it around as if you're shampooing thier hair, to get the curls to curl up. That should do it. If you want to put their hair in little pig tails,I would do it after you've put this product in and then comb the pig tails to make one big spiral. - WASHING HAIR. One very big piece of advice, DON'T wash it EVERYDAY and DON'T wash it ONCE A WEEK. I'm black, and we're programmed to only wash our hair once a week and it is assumed that people with silky straight hair wash it everyday. For our little mixed munchkins, too much washing is going to take the silkiness out and too little is going to allow for some serious kinks. Instead wash it every other or every third time. Here's an example of what I do: Monday-Wash & Condition hair Tues-Condition only Wed-Wash & Condition Thurs-Skip a wash & condition Friday Condition (now this is based on a bath happening every night, and we all now that doesn't happen..so do the samething, just spaced out..but if it's dirty, wash it.)...I think you get it. Now, some instructions on washing. Again, my daughter is only two and I can speak from what works for her. I use Johnson and Johnson Head to Toe body wash, it's super gentle and great on hair and then I use Nexxus Hummectress Conditioner. I let the conditioner sit while she plays and then I gentley comb it through her hair before I rinse it out. After she's out of the tub, I do not use the Johnson & Johnson Spray Leave-in Conditioner or the serum (only after I wash it). The reason why is because her hair is so clean and light and bouncy it doesn't need any extra products. I wait until the next day when I style her hair in the morning. I do not recommend putting your mixed munchkin down for bed with wet hair(you might get some matting on the back of the head). Let it air dry as much as possible. If it's still a little damp before bed, whip out the hair dryer and turn it on SUPER low to get the dampness out. Alex likes it when I pull out the hair dryer :) she feels extra girly when I sit her on the counter, in front of the mirror and dry her hair.
- TRIM THAT HAIR. I know, it hurts. It's started to grow and the curls are really cute..but if you want it to keep growing, you're going to have to get rid of any damaged ends. Right now, I do it myself. I went to Sally's and got a good pair of scissors and I trim her hair MAYBE every three/four months. BUT, still a trim. I have a cousin who is bi-racial and her parents have REFUSED to trim her hair (and now, won't even perm it..yes, I said the word PERM & Bi-RACIAL in the same sentence..I'll explain later) and now she has super dry and damaged hair.
Now, here's my list of DON'Ts. I've read it, I've heard it, and I just don't agree with it. Sometimes (I'll explain "when" later) it's better to do NOTHING TO and PUT NOTHING IN your mixed munchkin's hair.
DON'T (I repeat, DON'T) DO IT
- Baby Oil? Don't do it. I know it is tempting when they have all that hair on their head and you are just not sure if you should start right in the beginning or just wait. When you put oil on a mixed munchkin's hair at such a YOUNG age, you have to remember it is going to get on their face. I know, you're thinking applying a dime sized amount is not going to get on his/her face. Think again..you run the risk of your little one getting baby acne, when they don't need it. AND nothing needs to go in their hair when they are infants. NOTHING. All you need is a baby brush. Brush that hair..the natural oils will do the work.
- Vasoline? Don't do it..see the answer above..it applies to infants. For toddlers, that's when some of the kinkiness can start and you immediately think OIL. Instead, think ANTI-FRIZZ SERUM. It's lighter than Vasoline will ever be and it still allows you to control the hair.
- Pink Oil? THIS IS THE NUMBER ONE THING PEOPLE WILL TELL YOU TO DO...including aunts and grandmothers. So, I decided to put it to the test on my daughter's hair, because she get's that little kinky spot and I want to see if there is something better out there. They make an extra light version of this product and that's the one I decided to
go with. I didn't want anything to heavy on her hair. Well, that didn't work. It was too heavy, her curls didn't bounce, it was oily and not light. I did like how it gave her the "wet look" when her hair was dry..but that was about it. I'm returning the product tomorrow. Now, this particular product may work for your mixed munchkin, if their hair texture is starting to change. I hear that as they get older, there is a chance the overall texture will completely change. I have a bi-racial cousin who is half latino and half black and her hair went from silky straight, to silky curly, to coarse textured hair all by the time she turned 13 (this is where the words PERM and BI-RACIAL belong in the same sentence..again, we will get there later) My vote is THUMBS DOWN, unless you're mixed munchkin's hair is more on the coarse side and not the silky side.
- BABY LOTION? ABSOLUTELY NOT. Baby lotion or any kind of body lotion has alcohol in it. It will dry out your mixed munchkin's hair..which is the LAST thing you want to do. WHICH ALSO GOES FOR MOUSE (no-no!) or a STYLING SPRAY GEL (oh heavens no!)
- JUST FOR ME-HAIR MILK. Hmm. This falls in the same category as the Pink Oil..except its is super thick. I, once again, used Alex as my guinea pig and found that just using a dime sized amount of the product made her hair SUPER sticky..kind of like a styling goo. Not a fan. Especially if you want those little curls to bounce. It a great smelling product, but that's about it.
